Redefining Christmas: Beyond the "Musts"
Festive Christmas ads and shop window decorations have already been with us for a while, yet despite being surrounded by tradition, many people find the idea of spending the upcoming Christmas holidays in the way "tradition" dictates unappealing. Maybe it's because I have always idealized Christmas in my mind. Perhaps, it's because I decided even as a child that I would make this week of the year special for me. But I don’t struggle with a 'must' mindset during this time of year, unlike many others.
Don't misunderstand me! My decision didn't mean that my childhood Christmases were the most idyllic in the entire world. But they were fulfilling for me. I believe that we have the power to color our life moments the way we desire. So, "special" doesn't mean overdoses of glamour and extravaganza. It means consciously deciding to provide an ingredient that gives those moments authenticity, a sense of humanity, sincerity, and free expression of one’s creativity within the frame of whole-hearted warmth.
It's about having no "musts" and lifting the burden of practices that we have been told have to be a part of the holidays, such as:
Spending the day with specific people, e.g., family or a social circle you meet once a year, simply because “it's tradition”.
Wearing fancy clothes or thematic Christmas attire. Why? People who work hard during the holidays may wish to wear their joggers and trainers or their pajamas, focusing on comfort.
Listening to Christmas songs continuously. Recent reports suggest that listening to constant Christmas music can cause aggressive and depressive behaviors.
Eating specific foods because it's the custom. I personally refuse to eat turkey, as I don't enjoy it on the other 364 days of the year.
Buying gifts for everyone in the family, just because “people exchange gifts during Christmas”.
Adhering to specific rituals on the day of Christmas.
In my popular article about Christmas Expectation Frustration Syndrome, I explained the importance of being less serious about the holidays than the consumerism system forces us to be. Christmas is not about "attitude," fashion, or conformity. It's about human beings feeling happy but also feeling hurt, stressed, depressed, and devastated. I watch all this frenzy to "celebrate" Christmas and then I observe around the margins. In the margins, I see people who don't fit into the popular and socially accepted molds and are left isolated, alone, sad, and lonely. Is this Christmas to us? Is this the achievement of humanity? I find this unacceptable. If this is the only way, then there's something wrong with our customs, and they need to be redefined.
In my childhood's idealized Christmas holiday, things are simple. There is time to rest, opportunities to read my favorite books while drinking hot chocolate, playing board games with friends, having meaningful discussions, crafting cards and writing wishes. There is a lot of sleep and listening to my favorite music. But most importantly, there is respect for the needs of others to behave and celebrate in their unique way. Simply and freely.
I hope you enjoy these festive days in a way you really wish!
Happy Christmas!
*People who know me and are reading this article right now are probably enjoying the fact that I am using the verb 'must,' which I believe is very toxic for human creativity. You are right on the spot, friends! I just want to show how this harmful word can block the human gift of free decision-making and creative thinking. Creativity is all about flexibility and resilience. It has nothing to do with forceful behaviors. That's why "must" doesn't have a place in a time that is meant to be enjoyed. Instead of must, let’s focus on more freeing expressions such as "wish to," "apply," "realize," "decide," "do," “put into action.”
I truly hope these ideas can be useful to you and provide you with a new perspective on Christmas, wholesome and resonating with your inner Self.
